The Debunker Files: Abandoned By Disney

Well, here’s the second amazing Debunker Files! Since my family is going on a trip to Disney World in five days, I figured this one would be perfect for the occasion! It also helps distract me from  a crippling fear of flying, but whatever. So, let us get to the debunking part of the file, eh?

Okay, first of all holy shit that is a long-ass story, so I won’t be posting the whole thing here. Basically, Disney wanted to build a theme park called Mowgli’s Palace near Emerald Isle in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, upsetting many Confederates who were just itching to “get back in the game.”

Now, it’s rather obvious that this story is bullcrap; but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true… yeah, that’s what I meant to say. It runs on suspense, building up to the “GACK!” part via, well, suspense.

Alright, Emerald Isle is literally a block wide at most. Whoa, I just had déjà vu back to the Gadianton Canyon article.

Pictured: Not Ireland

Pictured: Not Ireland

Now, Mowgli’s Palace never existed. Seriously, check Google Earth, like I did. There’s just forests on the mainland; no hidden palaces or anything. Damn you Hubble! Ruining our stories!

“But wait a minute, Philly,” you dispute, “I’ve seen satellite pictures of Mowgli’s Palace on AboveTopSecret and Fark!”

Oh, you mean this one?

Ooooh-weeeee-ooooh!

Ooooh-weeeee-ooooh!

“Yeah!”

Well, that, my friend, is Disney’s River Country in Florida, and it’s, well, abandoned by Disney. Along with Discovery Island- which is literally in the same lake as River Country- it’s the only Disney park to ever be flat-out abandoned.

There was one primary reason for closing River Country: the filtration systems couldn’t keep out germs from the stagnant water. In 1980, an eleven year old boy was killed by Naegleria fowleri, a virus with 95% fatality rate, attacking and devouring the nervous system and brain. I admit that’s a pretty good reason to shut down business.

Meh, could’ve been worse.

Meh, could’ve been worse.

Discovery Island is far less creepy, but its story is more akin to this one. In 2010, an urban explorer and blogger, the excellently named Shane Pérez secretly visited the island, swimming out with some friends to it like Navy SEALs, although on his blog on the Rich Fancy Blog Site, he said he wouldn’t recommend doing it again due to alligators and the aforementioned brain eating virus.

The author runs a short little paragraph for people who have never heard of Disney’s The Jungle Book, describing the basic premise and whatnot. Who the fuck hasn’t heard of The Jungle Book? If you don’t know who at least Baloo is, then you deserve to get your face eaten off by a demented costume. It’s one of those bare necessities of life, you know? See what I did there? Yeah, you see it.

Now, I’m not denying that Disney is an unspeakably evil corporation, as these two links will give plenty of information about:

http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/10-reasons-disney-are-unspeakably-evil/

http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Disney.html\

And those prices! WOW!

I honestly don’t even want to go to Disney World, but hey, if I have a chance at seeing some hot chick’s tits on Splash Mountain, I’m gonna take it, even if my plane has a chance of exploding in midair courtesy of missile, just fucking disappear or crash.

Although, I’m definitely NOT worried about an assault rifle taking down my plane, seeing as to how that’s PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE, MR. HOLDER!!!

Although, I’m definitely NOT worried about an assault rifle taking down my plane, seeing as to how that is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE, MR. HOLDER!!!

So, I can see them doing this. They’re a cross between SPECTRE and North Korea, with more talking mice. I can also see the locals flipping shit over this. I mean, I would, even without the redneck xenophobia. I certainly wouldn’t want them tearing down my home so that a bunch of dudes can have their dicks concealed by a loincloth, walking over the area that used to be my pool while a ride through a tunnel with singing dolls takes up my crush’s house. You know, usual reasons to flip shit.

Then, like Tank Man in Tiananmen Square, one lone redneck took the stage, breaking a board in badass protest.

Y’all not be getting’ ‘way with this. I got me three six pack and a shotguns; bring it on, hippy!

Y’all not be getting’ ‘way with this. I got me three six pack and a shotguns; bring it on, hippy!

Everyone was against it, the newspapers, the news TV crews– although those two later went Quisling on the good guys and face-heel turned against the opposition- and especially the citizens. I imagine the guys from Duck Dynasty waged a small guerilla war against the construction workers, but you know I have an overactive imagination.

Quickly! Call in air support with our duck calls!

Quickly! Call in air support with our duck calls!

But Disney, in their typical “I’m an evil corporation” attitude, ignored everyone and kept building dat shit. Apparently, people stayed in the resort, with an assload of traffic taking up the roads.

Then, they shut it all down for no clear reason whatsoever.

And the rednecks collectively laughed their asses off, throwing manure after them as Disney hightailed it out of there.

So, shit was smashed all over the place, defaced and all around ruined. There were two competing theories, that it was either the employees or rednecks; probably both, the resistance teaming up with slaves revolting against their masters. There were also rumors that Disney released aquarium animals into the water

Bullshit alert!

Sharks can’t live in freshwater, dumbasses! Okay, bull sharks and tiger sharks can, but does anyone really think they had bull sharks and tiger sharks in their aquarium tanks? More likely sand tigers, if any. But why waste sharks in an aquarium? I know what I would do if I had a shark…

Ah, now we’re past the exposition to the story and get to this dude’s story.

“Recently, I learned that corporations can actually ask Google, for example, to remove links from search results… basically for no good reason.”

This is true.

And the bane of people who want to watch Mel Gibson movies for free…

And the bane of people who want to watch Mel Gibson movies for free…

So, he asked around and everyone was useless, either rich beach couples gettin’ it on or the now elderly resistance members who cringed even mentioning Mowgli’s Palace.

I was lining up for a PTSD joke there, but that’s no laughing matter. Thank-you for your service.

I was lining up for a PTSD joke there, but that’s no laughing matter. Thank-you for your service.

Then, the guy describes a plant war raging between Disney’s invasive tropical plants and the native, beautiful North Carolina forests.

Guidons, Guidons! Black Six! Attack! Attack! Attack!

Guidons, Guidons! Black Six! Attack! Attack! Attack!

Then he describes the gates of the park as massive, monolith things made of wood with supports that “looked like they must’ve been cut from giant sequoias.” The gate wasn’t doing too well though, as North Carolina’s ecosystem had assaulted it viciously in their endless war of reclamation, with woodpeckers and bugs eating it.

“…Dr. Grant, my dear Dr. Sattler; welcome, to Mowgli’s Palace!”

“…Dr. Grant, my dear Dr. Sattler; welcome, to Mowgli’s Palace!”

Then, shit got creepy. The words “ABANDONED BY DISNEY” were scrawled all over damn place, and North Carolina’s flora was in Disney’s base, killing their dudes while this blogger ran around rampantly.

The inside of the Palace part of Mowgli’s Palace was completely gutted, but apparently this guy’s fight or flight instinct needed recalibration, because he just kept pressing on. The kitchen was all torn up, dents in the doors and smelling “like very old piss.”

The freezer had eerily swinging hooks, and again, this guy desperately needed some desperate instinctual recalibration, because he didn’t run once he saw they were swinging with no breeze.

He heard a short little conversation in one of the rooms, probably tip-toeing up to listen it like a really stupid guy in a horror movie; the one who gets killed five minutes in.

So, he left- the one smart thing this dumbass has done in this whole story, and went to snap a picture of a “statue” of a python. Damn, this story has everything! Then, the python “statue” slithered away, proving Disney had unleashed their animals in an all or nothing assault against North Carolina’s unstoppable biosphere. The python slithered off, probably going to engage an assload of alligators in mortal combat.

So, he chickens out and stupidly runs into the building, at which point my mother and father give me a strange look as I scream out “NO YOU IDIOT! GO THE OTHER WAY!” in the middle of Gone with the Wind.

He saw a sign that said “MASCOTS ONLY PLEASE! THANK-YOU!” because Disney was pretending they gave a shit about manners. The padlock was still in place there; nobody had gone down there. Hey bucko; maybe you should’ve taken heed to that!

He busted the padlock- well, the wall the lock was attached to, and descended into the bowels of the Mascots Only area. Apparently, tropic and Carolina wildlife had made this a demilitarized zone, because it was untouched. The lights were on, the air was fresh and this guy is about to die a horrible death.

“Tables had note pads and pens, there were clocks… even a punch-in clock on the wall complete with filled-out time cards. Chairs were scattered around and there was even a small break room with an old, static-filled television and long rotted-out food and drink on the counters. It was like one of those post-apocalypse movies where everything is left in the state of evacuation.”

Yeah, except this time Will Smith won’t be saving you from bad CGI monsters…

Yeah, except this time Will Smith won’t be saving you from bad CGI monsters…

So, then things got all post-rampaging like in the place, with desks and tables knocked over, papers all over the place, probably a few bodies. And everything this guy touched literally turned to shit, with wood and clothing disintegrating before him.

So, he comes up to “CHARACTER PREP NO. 1” and tries to open the door, but it doesn’t budge. What a moron.

Hey morons! Stop being morons!

Hey morons! Stop being morons!

Then, he quit and started walking away. Just as I give a sigh of relief, the door up and pops open. It was pitch black in there, and in true found-footage fashion, the guy uses his cell phone as a lantern- extremely unreliable, by the way- to explore.

He was scared shitless by the lights suddenly all flickering on at once, flickering and fading.

“We've had a doozy of a day officer. There we we're mindin’ our own business. Makin some improvements to our new vacation home. When all the sudden these kids start killin’ themselves all over my property. Now, I don't know about how much experience you've had with this kind of thing but me and Dale here, well, we were scared SHITLESS.” “Scared SHITLESS!”

“We’ve had a doozy of a day officer. There we we’re mindin’ our own business. Makin some improvements to our new vacation home. When all the sudden these kids start killin’ themselves all over my property. Now, I don’t know about how much experience you’ve had with this kind of thing but me and Dale here, well, we were scared SHITLESS.” “Scared SHITLESS!”

So, there he was, looking at all of these Disney character costumes hanging on the wall like they were in the gallows, and a rack of loincloths and racist Indian clothes in the back.

Slumped down on the floor in the center of the room was the anti-Mickey. Literally, as in he was white where he should’ve been black and black where he should’ve been white. Oh, and with blue pants for some reason. The fur was rotten and shedding all over the place, and he looked like someone had knifed him.

So, he’s snapping pictures like paparazzi (it took me three times to spell that right. Two p’s, two r’s, two z’s!), getting every single angle possible of this abomination. He reaches for a Donald Duck head to snap some demented selfie, and a frickin’ human skull falls out.

Now, personally, I would have hightailed it out of there once I set foot in the abandoned palace and made up some shit later about my findings. But this guy has to take a goddamn selfie with a duck head that has a human skull in it. If, somehow, someone had chained me down long enough to get me to stay for that, I would have screamed like a little girl and ran home crying for my mommy.

Yeah, nothing short of that will get me to go down there…

Yeah, nothing short of that will get me to go down there…

This dumbass though (I’m using that word a lot, aren’t I?) just had to take a picture of it. Well, he was going all conspiracy mode, thinking Disney was responsible for this, and wanted to reveal it to the world.

Then, the photo-negative Mickey costume stood up.

He still wanted that picture, but apparently electronics go haywire around the supernatural, and the camera died. You know what? I’ll post the remainder of the story; this is too scary. Come and get me when it’s over, okay. I’ll meet you at the finale!

What cowards! I’m right behind youse! AHHHHHHHH!

What cowards! I’m right behind youse! AHHHHHHHH!

“I raised my eyes once again to the Mickey Mouse costume.

“Hey,” it said in a hushed, perverted, but perfectly executed Mickey Mouse voice, “Wanna see my head come off?”

It started to pull at its own head, working its clumsy, glove-clad fingers around its neck with clawing, impatient movements similar to a wounded man trying to pull himself free of a predator’s jaws…

As it worked its digits into its neck… so much blood…

So much thick, chunky, yellow blood…

I turned away as I heard a sickening tearing of cloth and flesh… only cared about getting away. Above the doorway out of this room, I saw the final message clawed into the metal with bone or fingernails…

“ABANDONED BY GOD”

I never got the pictures out of the camera. I never wrote the blog entry about it. After I ran from that place, fled for my sanity if not my very life, I knew why Disney didn’t want anyone to know about this place.

They didn’t want anyone like me getting in.

They didn’t want anything like that getting out.”

“Philly,” you say, “you can come out of the corner now. Stop sucking your thumb, it’s okay…”

So, now we know. A demented, color negative Mickey Mouse pulled off its own head, with extra chunky blood falling to the ground as it took it off. Then, this guy finally bolts, probably chased by the monster mouse.

H-Hey everybody! It's me, Mickey Mouse! Do you wanna come inside my clubhouse?

H-Hey everybody! It’s me, Mickey Mouse! Do you wanna come inside my clubhouse?

And that’s where it ends.

Now, why is it scary?

Well, he leaves you hanging. That’s the appeal to every horror story to grace God’s green Earth: they don’t tell you how it ended for the protagonist. Now, this guy apparently survived (obviously from the first person perspective) but he doesn’t describe the chase, which would have been the most horrifying- and hardest to pull off scene.

The thing is, an effective writer leaves your imagination to wonder what the hell happened to the protagonist, because your imagination is much better at scaring you than other people; it’s a survival thing. If you’re always hardwired to imagine the absolute worst case scenario, then your less likely to do something stupid. I guess this guy’s sense of that was on vacation that day, because he’s a dumbass.

So, for all we know, horror Mickey could have been trying to challenge him to a game of Sudoku for all we know, or chased him around like a silly Scooby Doo villain, arms outstretched over his head shouting “Boo!”

Now, there’s two other “installments” involving a suggestion box with a stunning number of cards for not having any cards, and a murder. I’ll post links at the bottom, this article is already long enough as is.

The verdict: abandoned by Disney is just another creepypasta, a well-written one, though, by someone with way too much time on their hands. Much like myself… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Naw, I just read no-sleep; I don’t write it.

Links! Good luck sleeping tonight, asshole!

Shane Perez’s blog: http://shaneperez.blogspot.com/2009/12/discovery-island.html

Abandoned By Disney Full: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Abandoned_by_Disney

Abandoned By Disney Pt. 2, The Demented Suggestion Box: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/A_Few_Suggestions

Abandoned By Disney Pt. 3, The Reckoning: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Room_Zero

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One thought on “The Debunker Files: Abandoned By Disney

  1. CJOLL4 says:

    I appreciate the information about the actual Emerald Isle area, as well as the *real* parks that Disney has abandoned. The commentary was quite entertaining as well. I just want to point out that the author of the creepypasta didn’t say Disney released sharks at Mowgli’s Palace; the author said they released sharks at Treasure Island, the abandoned resort in the Bahamas (which apparently wasn’t real either).

    Like

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