The Top Eleven (Or Fifteen, Depending On How You Count Them) Best Original Music Videos On YouTube

So, I’ve been watching a lot of music videos on YouTube recently; actually, that’s pretty normal, right? Who doesn’t watch YouTube videos besides undiscovered tribes, inbred cults deep in the darkest forests, malevolent shadow people and anyone who died before 2005?

Yep, that’s basically all of them right there…

Yep, that’s basically all of them right there…

But I’ve been watching the videos by original music video artists; as in, they’re only on Youtube- not CD or anything. So, Toby Keith and Maroon Five? Not on this list. These guys don’t sell their songs- except on iTunes. I’m including covers and parodies, because damn there are some good ones out there. Let’s get to it, shall we?

In no particular order here:

God Bless the U.S.A. by The Gardiner Sisters

Kicking off our list is a truly patriotic cover song. I frickin’ love these girls. They’re great singers, what can I say? Also, they’re Mormons, which is kind of a point against them, but I’m all for the First Amendment, so why bring it up? Whatever, their softer tuned version of the Lee Greenwood song really does make you “proud to be an American.”

Ah, I’m gonna go hug a soldier, I’ll be back.

Stronger by Cimorelli

Personally, I’m not as big a fan of Cimorelli as I am the Gardiner Sisters- I’ve always liked the softer songs over pop covers, but this one was too good to pass up. It’s a frickin’ amazing song sung by beautiful women and it’s at the beach! What more can a man ask for?

Answer: Not Much

Answer: Not Much

Plus, it’s going to a noble cause, helping a paraplegic girl pay for her therapy. Aww…

Pennsylvania Style by SloppySecondzMusic

Yes, SSM has a dirty sounding name, get off of my back! Anyways, this song is perfect for me: Gangnam Style? Catchy. Pennsylvania? Home state. Pennsylvania Style: a catchy, hilarious song about my home state!

By the way, Philly girls totally look like that.

pennsy

Google Translate Sings… All of Them by Malinda Kathleen Reese

I laugh my ass off every time I watch these. They’re frickin’ hilarious! Google Translate seems to have the translational powers of a mentally retarded, two month old pot-smoking chimpanzee in these videos; all of which are uproariously, piss-yourself hilarious. Here’s my three favorites:

Also, of somewhat relevant note, I used to think Iggy Azalea was a dude prior to watching the music video. Can you really blame me? “Iggy.” It’s such a guy name!

The People of Walmart by Jessica Frech

Jesus Christ these are frickin’ hilarious. Also, I like how she puts the disclaimer at the beginning of the videos assuring you she’s not making this shit up.

Also, I’m kind of uncomfortable with the idea of the White Witch living in the same dimension as us! She broke in man! The government’s hiding it! We’ve gotta stop her! She’s gonna kill us all!

What Philly didn’t realize in those final moments before being sedated was that it was far too late…

What Philly didn’t realize in those final moments before being sedated was that it was far too late…

Black Friday Night by Jessica Frech… Again

Whoah! A twofer! This one’s just hilarious, because my mother, aunt and grandmothers (from both sides of the family; they’re not lesbians you sickos!) do this same routine every single year. And I play this song for them before they set out to the Battle of Prices Round Sixteen. Also, I made my own version of the song before this one came out. Here it is, in all it’s terrible glory:

“Black Friday Night, We went shopping in the dark, We couldn’t find a spot to park, Black Friday Night…”

And that’s it. I like this version better, it’s more complete.

Shoppers of Walmart by SloppySecondzMusic… Also Again

Again with Walmart. You, you’ve got problems, Walmart. I worry about you. This one’s a lot dirtier than innocent Frechie’s, but it’s also hilarious and goddammit is it catchy!

A Soldier’s Memoir by Joe Bachman

This one’s a hell of a lot more solemn than the other songs here, but it’s important and I like it a lot. Plus, it’s important that we understand the fact that PTSD is serious and needs treatment. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME, OBAMA? REFORM THE GODDAMN VA NOW!

To any veterans reading this, thank-you for your service.

soldier

Comin’ Home by Dave Adams

Let’s get happy again, shall we? PTSD is sad, and I don’t want this to be a sad post. This one’s for all the veterans “comin’ home to America.” It’s also badass and catchy as hell. Some of those videos *sniffle* will make you wanna cry. I’m sorry, I sniffed some pepper, I’ll be back *runs off crying*

The Final Countdown Guitar Cover by Sylphid63

I was debating whether or not to include this one, since really the only thing changed is that the guy played an electric guitar over the original song, and the fact that the guy’s username sounds vaguely like “syphilis” but decided to include it anyway because it’s an awesome electric guitar, and who gives a shit about a username?

usernames

Here it is, in all its electric guitar glory:

Aer Vis by The Warrior Project

THIS is frickin’ badass as all hell. Just… words cannot even describe the sheer awesomeness of this song. An almost chilling opening monologue, followed by strategically placed electric guitar strings, an amazing beat and the badass Curtis LeMay providing a badass quote, this is by far the best original song on YouTube I have ever heard.

Here in the air where the lead won’t lie, and the graves I’ll dig are a mile-wide!

Here in the air where the lead won’t lie, and the graves I’ll dig are a mile-wide!

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United States vs. Iraq: Round 3

I be awful tired, so pardon the shortness. Also the atrocious grammar in that first clause. I am awful tired. Allow me to be frank, fuck you Obama. You are a cock-sucking hypocrite. I am currently watching your speech and you claim you’re assembling a “broad Coalition” to fight ISIS. Coming from an administration who just got done blaming Bush for every single problem you’ve ever encountered, you have a lot of nerve to use the word “Coalition” to describe your approach here. Hey, since you’ve shown so much nerve so far, why not just add in “of the willing?” And I don’t believe you when you say ground forces won’t be involved. You’ve promised us things before. You have broken those promises. And an air campaign? Reminds me of this:

I gotta be honest guys, I'm starting to think we should just bomb Washington. Sure, they're our commanders, but what have they done for us RECENTLY besides take our toys, cut our funding and not treat our PTSD?

I gotta be honest guys, I’m starting to think we should just bomb Washington. Sure, they’re our commanders, but what have they done for us RECENTLY besides take our toys, cut our funding and not treat our PTSD?

ISIS is undeniably a horribly evil group. We have to stop them before they commit genocide, or finish the one they’ve already started against the Christians. I fully support military intervention in Iraq for this; after the Holocaust, we promised “NEVER. AGAIN.” I live by that mantra. But seriously? After promising you wouldn’t send us back into that shithole, after obliterating the Bush administration over Iraq, and now you have the nerve to send in a MOTHERFUCKING COALITION!?!?!?!?! How dare you! Why’d you make the promise in the first place, huh? You know you can’t keep promises in anything involving politics or combat!

Has Aaron Eckhart taught you NOTHING?

Has Aaron Eckhart taught you NOTHING?

You’re a sleazy, lying disgrace to everyone who had a part in founding this nation, and I am ashamed to call you my leader. You’re a lying liar who lies about lying. Liar. You sit on a throne of lies!

How can you live with yourself? AND DON'T SAY BY PLAYING GOLF!!!

How can you live with yourself? AND DON’T SAY BY PLAYING GOLF!!!

You are a failure as President, and I am willing to bet history books a hundred years from now will think of you as such. Whoo! Thank felt great! I apologize for the political stuff here; I’m just royally pissed off right now. Some time this week: the mother of all Debunker Files on a certain event that happened this week, fourteen years ago. All right, now that that’s out of my system, I’m bailing out for the night. Goodbye asshole!

"God, I was hoping I wasn't gonna have to do this! This is the end of Devil 505; say goodbye asshole! Eject! Eject! Eject!" "Goodbye Asshole!"

“God, I was hoping I wasn’t gonna have to do this! This is the end of Devil 505; say goodbye asshole! Eject! Eject! Eject!”
“Goodbye Asshole!”

 

 

 

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